Scared for him to see me without makeup!
Sat, 07/11/2009 - 12:11am
How do you ladies handle it when you are dating someone new and they have never seen you without make-up? I will be going away for five days on a trip with a guy I just started dating and am petrified for him to see me bare faced....Any suggestions?
Debbie
It's been a long time since I've had to worry about anything like this. Why are you worried about him seeing you without makeup? I'm sure you're a natural beauty. Furthermore, if he is so shallow (which I'm sure he is not) that he would like you less without your makeup, why would you want this man to be a part of your life? Furthermore, all the guys I know prefer a natural face over a made up one. I hope that you really enjoy your trip together, and congrats on the new romance!
Okay, I just checked out your profile (boy that sounds creepy), and I don't see what your worried about... you're beautiful!
Hey DS! I also just looked at your pictures are you are a hot lady! I think it is just one of those hurdles that you have to get over in a relationship. It is going to happen eventually. You may be up until 3am talking and most of your makeup is gone. You could get caught in a rain storm and have everything wash off.
I want to encourage you to streamline you makeup/ hair routine. I do not know how long it takes you to get ready. But, most guys I know do not like to be kept waiting a really long time on a daily basis especially on vacation. I had a guy friend once who was furious that he spent more time waiting for the girl he was dating to get ready than actually having fun on their trip.Please let us know how it goes.
I think seeing you without makeup is a minor thing. I do think finding out who each of you are inside is a major thing.
ds-- you are a gorgeous lady! Don't worry about your makeup :) If you just started dating, you should be more worried about how you guys are going to get along, especially if you're a new couple! Let me tell you, some of the trips I took with guys I had just recently started dating were interesting to say the least. So while you're with him, think more about how awesome you are and if he deserves to be with you!hao is totally right about keeping your makeup routine simple (spending way too much time getting ready is probably more of a dealbreaker than going barefaced, in a guy's mind!)
♥ Lipgloss and Spandex: a blog for gals who look good and run fast
First, Debbie, I agree. You are beautiful. And remember he likes you for you. I would make sure I had waterproof mascra and liner. Also, Bare Minerals and other mineral makeups say you can sleep in them. So I would! I know BM makes some overnight makeup, but, you can use any. Buff well! A little blusher. Just a touch. And a lip stain. I personally like Urban Decay's and The Balm's Stainiac. If you do your evening skincare, then just do a little of this. And get it off in the shower, and redo. I further recommend Kumaara's Illuminating Primer. This makes your skin look awesome and very unmade up.I forgot till I read your post how I used to worry about this, and have to say, a) I am glad I have been married a long time. b) jealous there is so much good stuff out there now!Have fun!
Thankfully I've been with my husband for 12 years now so I don't have to go through this kind of thing anymore !!!!But I can totally understand how you feel Ihave broken capillaries which I hate and don't leave the house without full make, when I was dating I used to was my makeup off when he was already in bed or just leave it on and wash it off in the morning and reapply before he woke up !!!What a nightmare that was !!I don't think you have anything to worry about you look fabulous to me x
omg i started laughing when i saw this! not laughing at you, just laughing cause i had the same problem! Me n my man have been together for 5 years and when we first started having sleepovers, I used to wait til he fell asleep to take off my makeup, then wake up at the crack of dawn to reapply it and get back in bed before he woke up! i know...dramatic. I finally got over it when he started bitching about it. He was in love with me and though it was ridiculous that I went through all that. Now, he hates it when I wear any makeup at all! If it is someone you are going to be serious with.....the best advice I can offer is just get over it! He will see the real you (and u r gorgeous!) eventually and if he doesn't like you without makeup (which is very unlikely), its better for you to find out now!
The ladies before me seem to have covered a lot of the bases - and I agree with all of them, you are gorgeous, makeup or no makeup! As a single girl I can relate...you want to always look your best to impress him! If I was in your situation I would probably just leave some light makeup on overnight if you're really really worried. If he's a good guy he'll know that it isn't possible to be glam every hour of the day! And consider which is more attractive - looking fresh sans makeup or smudgy and tired with makeup!
I too am very thankful not to have to deal with this issue anymore. Fortunately, I was able to get over this about 2 months into dating my boyfriend (now husband) and it was a very important step FOR ME in our relationship. My husband couldn't care less one way or the other, and if your new beau is worth your time, he won't either. That being said, it might not be a bad time to experiment with streamlining your routine and toning down the makeup every once-in-a-while when you all are just hanging out casually or doing something active outside when less makeup might be appropriate. If you step-down the makeup now and then gradually, chances are he won't notice a bit. Even the smartest guys are not that perceptive when it comes to makeup. Plus ds, you're beautiful! Makeup and skincare products are wonderful, but they can't do that without something to work with! : )
I agree with pretty much everything above. I disagree with wearing makeup to bed. It's a beauty sin. It clogs your pores and hinders your skin's ability to breathe and rest and recuperate. But I know how how you feel. I don't really go out in public without makeup. So if you really feel that self conscious about showing him the unvarnished you (which I'm sure is just as fabulous as the glam you), then I suggest putting on a good moisturizer and maybe a little concealer where you really really need it. A lip stain and balm on top wouldn't go wrong either. But most importantly, be confident about going bare faced! Don't be a shrinking violet, toss your head back, stand up straight and smile. He probably won't notice you aren't wearing makeup. :)
I think one of the first times I saw the guy I was dating I probably didn't have makeup on. I really wasn't worried about it? I think I was more concerned with my hair. Now I just don't care at all :PI wouldn't worry about it. Guys aren't clueless. They realize it takes a lot of time for us to get "pretty". I'm sure he'll like you with or without makeup. There's really no need to be insecure...I'm sure he's dating you for reasons other than the fact that you're always perfectly made up.You're gorgeous and have no worries!
The ladies before me seem to have covered the bases pretty thoroughly. Lots of good advice!I know how you feel, in a way. Several years ago I had some medical problems (all taken care of now) that left me with hardly any eyebrows. What a shock, since they had always been full. So, now, no matter what, I try to have those in place. Anything else is optional, even tho' I use quite a bit of skin care and love makeup.And, like you have been reassured, the inside is what really counts!
I honestly find that when you have been with someone awhile, you stop noticing things like that. It sounds trite, but it becomes more about who they are than what they look like. And I think it is the same for men. I used to worry so much about this same thing, and the first time my bf saw me without makeup, he said "you have really flawless skin, why do you wear makeup" So of course I'm not going to go without makeup, but I think we get ourselves worried over things that don't matter. I know I do.
wow, a 5-day trip w/ a new guy? sounds pretty serious. i think you're dealing with a mature guy and i really believe that a real man can handle it if you dont have on make up or you just dont look your best in general. he should be into you on your good and bad days because no one is a 10 every single time. if he is a realistic guy and worth keeping around, he wont even think twice about it. enjoy your trip!
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Thank you ladies for all of your positive comments. I ended a 9 year relationship a year ago, so it has been a long time since I've been in the situation of waking up with someone new.He has already commented that he hates foundation and that he can tell I wear it (Chanel Mat Lumiere). I don't wear a lot of make-up and my routine is pretty quick, but problem is, my skin is very blotchy. Has anyone tried the Bare Escentuals treatment product that is meant to be worn overnight? Does it give any coverage at all? If anyone has tried it, does it rub off on the pillow cases?
If you want to wear something over night I would suggest a mineral foundation that as no chemicals in it like Everyday Minerals this lets your skin breathe and covers up redness brilliantly I use it to cover my broken capillaries and redness. Its waterproof too you can't even tell your wearing mineral foundation my friends can't tell I'm wearing it and I use a lot to cover up the redness. I have fallen asleep in the afternoon and none of it come off on the pillow except mascara. Hope that helps.
I don't even try even after almost 13 years of lovin' the same great guy!I cleanse completely at night but then I use a bit of treatment-concealer,a bit of eyeliner,lipgloss,and do my hair to some extent...I do NOT go to bed with a faceful of makeup but I do add a bit of help so that I wake up smudgy and cute! If he "hates" foundation,he's looking too closely at your skin and not into your gorgeous eyes,LOL! Have fun and relax...you're stunning! Hope it goes well and report back. :)
You look fabulous so you should have no worries on that front but I understand being paronoid I could write the book.If you have naturally black lashes you should be ok without mascara,if not you could dye your lashes.If you feel pale,you could use one of the gradual face tanners,you could use one of the 2-in 1 sticks for blush and lips9super quick)lipink have lots of products like a lip stain that will last and last.I f its a glowly complexion your looking for Id recommend guerlain midnight secret if you go to the guerlain counter to buy anything just ask them for a sample and you should get enough to last a week.Good luck.
PotionPrincess♥
You look absolutely Beautiful. I wouldn't worry. If he loves or likes you a lot it want matter. And I sure he does or he wouldn't be going on a trip with you. He will accept you with or without makeup. You are Gorgeous! My husband likes me better without makeup. Grab one of his button down shirt or t-shirt wear it with nothing else and let your hair down and he will think your the most gorgeous thing ever. ;-) Like mjsred said have fun and relax!
So...after reading all your posts, you ladies helped me more than you realize. I thought about it for a long time and came to the conclusion that if I can't be comfortable around the guy, being myself without makeup, he isn't the right guy for me. He had made a comment that he probably wouldn't recognize me without makeup and I don't even wear that much. He was the type of man who expects a woman to look flawless when she wakes up.I cancelled the trip and started dating another guy who had been pursueing me for a year. It has turned out to be the best decision I have made in a long time. I wasn't afraid to be seen without makeup with the new guy and he thinks I still look good without makeup.Thank you all for your wisdom and advice.
I totally understand I am a really complexed person and I am more confident with makeup one I used to sleep with my makeup on when I was with my boyfriend...when I started to not to he didn't even notice that I wasnt wearing anything lol I think men don't really care about makeup I think it's more in our head ! they don't notice a pimple we have and makes us wanna stay home all day lol ! be confident if he is with you it's nor for your makeup !!!=)
Chloe http://thehollywoodheels.blogspot.com
ds that's great to hear-congrats on the new man.
PotionPrincess♥
Ds I'm so happy for you !!!!So glad it all turned out for the best he sounded like a jerk !!!Thankfully you found out quickly !!!
He was the type of man who expects a woman to look flawless when she wakes up.Obviously someone who watches too much porn or something, I'm glad you ditched him!
ds, good for you! I'm so glad you've found someone who you feel comfortable with and who thinks you look good with or without makeup on.
Hi! Great topic. I think that if you don't act self-conscious, usually nobody else pays attention. King Taco: (too much porn) Oh goodness I laughed. That is just hysterical...And sadly so true. ds: It's much better to be with someone who you can be comfortable with. I remember when I was first dating my husband (22 years ago - how time flies) I was worried about the same thing. Then our first weekend away together I got the flu. Somehow having him see me worshiping the porcelain goddess, made all of those "Is there a slight shine on my nose?" thoughts a thing of the past! (ps...I don't know about the BareEssentuals Overnight treatment you mentioned, but I LOVE this Jane Iredale Dream Tint moisturizer: http://janeiredaledirect.com/product_Dream+Tint+SPF+15+_14448.htm * Let us know what product you find works best for you!
Good for you! When I read the comment he made about foundation to you--I thought that was rather rude and insensitive. Not to mention, it would feed your insecurity further. You don't need to spend time with a man who makes you question your beauty. I'm glad you're happy with another man now--sounds like the anxiety in your head already knew he wasn't the right guy.As my mom has always told me, "In the beginning of relationships, everything is supposed to be easy and fun."
http://ediblelove.wordpress.com/
Chloe, "I think men don't really care about makeup I think it's more in our head !" You're so right. Only the shallow jerks care enough to make a woman feel bad about it.
http://ediblelove.wordpress.com/
I'm late to this thread, but I just wanted to say I'm glad you dumped that shallow guy. I also thought the foundation comment was rather rude, but at least you didn't invest too much time into the relationship (I'm guessing, since you said you had just started dating him?) and are happy now. I haven't known many guys who give two figs about mu, so I'm not sure what was going on in his head to make him so opinionated about it. It's not like he was the one wearing it.
This is a late response but truly most men really don't care what you look like without makeup - when you are alone, that is - nice makeup in public is a must for most guys although the heavy makeup tranny-look is not attractive, flattering makeup can make anyone look better. I care what I look like and that is what is the most important. Use The Balm concealer and/or foundation and any of The Balm products - you can sleep in them and they have tons of antioxidants and other great stuff for your skin. And they wear really well. As much as I love makeup, it feels great to be loved without it.
I have an uneven/discolored complexion so I won't be seen by anyone without foundation on. I can't even stand to look at myself without it so I feel ya, girl. =/
I was scared for my boyfriend to see me without make up too, but I'm in school and so is he and it's to hard to always be done up. Luckily he loves me for who I am and not based on my looks alone. In fact he tells me he loves it the most when I look like a bum and have nothing on my face because it shows him that i'm comfortable being myself with him. If anything just wear a tinited moisturizer, but I think most guys realize that girls don't need to be done up all the time and they appreciate it when your comfortable being yourself :)
like a lot of ladies have said..yes guys do prefer someone with a more natural look..my bf says i look way better without so much make up on...if your guy stops liking you because you might look different without make up then he was not worth it anyway...=)
I hate to look at myself without makeup, and I don't want to inflict that on anyone else, so pretty much only my partner and my cat see me without makeup. I even put on a layer of foundation to go to the gym. But my partner has to accept me for who I am even with my blotchy and red face. And lately at night, my shiny face slick with shea butter slathered all over it. My poor boyfriend.
My boyfriend prefers me without make-up (with the exception of a bright red lip here and there), but still encourages me to wear make-up because I like to wear it.