Roommate Woes
I'm sure many of you ladies have had bad roommate experiences, so hopefully you can offer some advice.First semester living with my roommate at school was fine, we became good friends. So for second semester we decided to move out of the dorm and get a place together. Then things changed, she was always in a bad mood at home, slamming doors, giving me the silent treatment, and taking a different bus to school to avoid me. But when she was bored in class and wanted to chat she acted as if nothing had happened.Things got worse over the semester, she was always talking crap about me and my boyfriend to other people. Even putting it up on her Skype and Facebook. I told her I was going to move in with my boyfriend this semester and she was fine with it, but her behaviour got so ridiculous I moved in with him for the last month of school.I haven't spoken to her since April, and she is at it again posting crap on her Facebook. We go back to school in two weeks and I don't know what to do. I am ok with not being friends anymore, she was so horrible I don't care to ever see her again. But of course with our small class size it will be inevitable, and I don't know how to act around her or what to say.Any advice?
Un-friend her on Facebook so you won't have to look at her nonsensical ramblings, and if necessary, change your settings to block her. Then, just live your live. If you see her and she looks your way, smile, say hi, then move along. What can she possibly say then, and even if she does continue posting stuff, you won't see it :)
i support unfriending her... just act like nothing happened, but also act like over the summer you forgot who she is. she sounds very immature, and you are too cool to bother with trash :)
I totally agree with moon8305. First off, get her off your skype and facebook. There's no reason to read a ton of negativity about yourself.I'm really not sure what her problem is. I lived with a girl like that and I just ended up ignoring her until we moved out. It sucked, but there's really not much else you can do. Maybe she was upset that you had your boyfriend over a lot or something as simple as that. Either way, since you've moved out, it doesn't really matter. There's no reason for her to be mad at you or talking trash, so I'd just ignore her.
I agree w/ the above comments. Don't subject yourself to reading her petty comments. I know it's difficult, but try to ignore her and go on with your life as usual. Being around negative people can be somewhat contagious so don't let her take you down with her.I would say that sometimes the roommate relationship can become quite different from a friend relationship and that maybe she'd chill out in a few months once you aren't together constantly, but it sounds like she hasn't let go of whatever she has an issue with. If it's been 3 months since you've even seen her and she's still spewing crap, forget her.
Oops, didn't read carefully about the small class sizes. I'd advise you to act cordially to her. Nothing wrong with saying hello to acknowledge her, but I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to her, see her outside of class, or generally invest myself in her life. Do you have other friends in your class? If so, keep busy by sitting with them and chatting together.It might seem a little mean at first, but some people truly aren't worth your time.
Block her from everything. I would ignore her in public but if she came up to be i'd probably mess her up smartly ( means just hit her where it hurts with a little smile and walk away ), and then neve speak to her again
Definitely un-friend her, she's obviously not a friend. Other than that....I think you should have an I don't give a ^%$ attitude towards her. Even if you see her in school, so what? Do not allow yourself to feel uncomfortable, awkward, or anxious because of that chick! its not like you guys have been friends forever or anything....she's just some chick that was your bitchy roommate! Girl, you just gotta dismiss her and move on. Her crap talking most likely stems from jealousy (it always does!) so just take it as a compliment. If you feel hurt, betrayed, or anything like that...don't let her know. just keep being fabulous with your Havana Sun Dust bronzer and let her keep hatin!You are too fly to let her get to you!
When in doubt - say nothing, and wear a smile. And, as my friend says when someone says something mean just to be a confrontational hater - you could say, "Get Steppin'" (best delivered with clenched, smiling teeth.)
Like moon8305 says unfriend her cause it will just make you angry reading it.Rere right she's most likely envious.But watch her if she's sneeky because she would probably want you to shout at her in public to make you look bad-some people are just consumed with hate if she say's anything bad to you make sure someone else is around to hear it and then you can say something like"oh are you ok,it's just that you seem to have an unhealthy obsession with me"-say it with an air of pity and that should put a stop to it as she is probably getting a big kick of making you feel bad.
PotionPrincess♥
Thanks for the advice everyone! I have taken her off Facebook so I don't have to see any more crap show up in my feed. I think this girl seriously needs to be medicated, she has ruined a lot of friendships and we have only been together as a class for 8 months! She talks crap about every single one of her friends, a bunch of people already stopped talking to her and I guess the rest either just don't know what she says or don't care.Vet school is stressful enough without dealing with a 25 year old who acts like a bratty child. I am going to work on letting it go and just ignoring her.
The ladies have given you some great advice. What a smart girl you are! I agree, ignore, ignore, ignore her. But! Do it with a smile, let your happiness over your boyfriend, new living conditions, success at school, you name it, let it radiate off of you. Just be yourself and act like she's not there. If you happen to find yourself face to face with her just treat her as you would any stranger, casual kindness without any history. You are the bigger person here, you're right the poor girl probably needs medication. (Not that I'm hatin' on medication, if you need it, take it, I say!) Good luck with Vet School, I hear it's very competitive. Stay strong.
I think she was probably always like this, and with all the newness and excitement of freshman year, you just didn't notice. But now that her real colors have come out, I would just ignore her as if I didn't know her, and didn't want to. She is the one with a problem, not you. she sounds really unbalanced, so it's really for the best that you have no contact with her. You have no reason to feel awkward or strange, and I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of letting her think she's getting to you. When she doesn't get a reaction, she will move on to the next victim.
That's really crappy of her, and I'm sorry your "friend" is acting that way. I can kind of understand how hard that must be because of a small class size--a sorority sister was talking crap about me and she also was rooming with my best friend at the time, so I saw her pretty often. While what I really wanted to do was punch her in the face, what I did was be civil but not overly polite or friendly--as you would a stranger. You don't need her negativity in your life, so just cut her out of it. :)While psychoanalyzing her doesn't help you much, it sounds like she was never really a good friend anyways. She sounds desperate for attention, even if it's the negative kind. Ignore her. It's hard, but it sounds like she's trying to pick a fight. :-/
♥ Lipgloss and Spandex: a blog for gals who look good and run fast
I say just treat her as another person in the class who is not a friend. Direct questions, answers. For the most part dont pay her any attention.I can not do roomates. And Im glad I figured this out early!
Tan is Love
Just ignore her and be the bigger person! I've had a similar situation but with a male bestfriend for over 4 years. He moved out and b*tched to everyone about our problems to EVERYONE, but you know what I did? ZIP because I wasn't going to allow myself to stoop to his level. Just ignore her girl, you don't have to be rude or nice, just indifferent. :P
Yes, I do have advice. Make sure you stay as far away from that psycho as you much as you can. First of all, she sounds completely unstable and who would want a friend like that? Second of all, she wasn't really your friend if she was talking about you in a negative light and speaking to you or not in a negative tone. She apparently has the problem. But problem solved. Don't fall for her bull. One day good mood, the next day pscycho bitch. Who needs the drama? I know this because when I first moved here I had a roomate, it was the worst nightmare of my life. This nasty creep stole from me, thought I was her own personal limo service to work and back, till I finally laid it on the line that she either paid me gas money or she's taking the damned bus. Needless to say, she never got a ride to the curb from me, much less work. She wore clothes of mine that I never had worn, without my permission, things I just bought and never took the pricetags off of yet. I ripped into her for that. When my Movado watch went missing and I know good and well there was noone in the house that night but me and later her, she denied stealing it till she was blue in the face, but I know she stole it. She was jealous because she had NOTHING. No car, no money, no clothes, no nothing. She had a job, but for some reason never had the money for the rent. This lasted 2 months till I made sure she was going to get the heck out. I advised the manager of the apartment that I wanted her off the lease. It was in my name, so I had the right. Well after she pulled all the garbage on me, I decided to pull one on her. She was at work one day and I called a locksmith and had the locks changed. There was no way I was going to let her back into my apartment with all my belongings, furniture, silverware, dishes, clothing, jewelry, you name it. I got the papers served to her and she was kicked out. I was on the lease, took her crap and threw it in a dumpster and never spoke to her again. She didn't have anything anyway, so it wasn't worth a cent, just cruddy tupperware, junk like that. Plus after what she pulled, I feel I was justified. About a year later I saw her at my gym and she tried to talk to me and apologize. Sorry too little, too late, wayyyyyyyy too late. She knew she did me absolutely wrong. She broke all the roomate rules we made before moving in together. One of them being to call if either one of us were bringing a guy home to watch t.v., eat dinner or what not. Did she live up to the deal. Hell no! I was at the apt watching a good dvd I rented, had a hard day at work and wanted to relax, watch the movie and have a glass of wine. I was in my p.j's., the next thing you know, here she is walking through the door with this guy, wearing my Ralph Lauren jacket. Oh hell no!! I could go on and on. She was a nightmare and I have never had a roomate since and never will again. I truly enjoy living alone. It is my fortress of solitude.
Chanelisbest
Oh and of course, the most important thing of all BLOCK HER FROM YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE!! NO SECOND THOUGHTS THERE. WHY WOULD YOU WANT AN EVIL WITCH LIKE THAT ON YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE?
Chanelisbest
Thanks for the advice everyone! Luckily I have not had to deal with her at all, she has kept her space and I have kept mine. I did take her off mine and my boyfriends' Facebook awhile ago. But apparently there were a few more postings I learned of after I had removed her. Like "looking forward to a semester without drama!" Um, dumbass? You started it all! She has pissed off other people who have turned on her, I don't know what happened and nor do I care. But I have to admit I couldn't help but laugh!Chaelisbest I got off lucky compared to you! Glad you don't have to deal with that anymore.
Very true!! It was a nightmare.. never again. We live and we learn don't we? Good for you. Facebook can be a big fat pain in the you know what. You get people trying to get in on your page and I only want people there that I can trust and relate to. I find a great deal of people will accept just about anyone. Not me. I only let a select few in because it gets too personal. I had to knock one guy off because he became stalkish.. he was so off the wall. Never again. I'm very careful now and needless to say I will never get into any of those situations again. I love living alone. It's just right for me. Others like living with 2-3 roomates and I don't agree. Pain in the rear and too much drama. When I get home, I want peace and quiet till I decide I want to go out and party!! No problems then. Glad things worked out!!
Chanelisbest