ACCEPT YOUR "FLAWS" AND KEEP A HEALTHY PERSPECTIVE-WELL, WE'RE WORKING ON IT!

I used to feel the same way about my great grandma.  She always smelled of rosewater glycerin lotion and there was no happier place in the world than burying myself in the sweet soft skin of her chest and falling asleep.  I never saw wrinkles...just the smiling face of the sweetest woman who ever lived.  I've got big Grandma shoes to fill there.I've always wondered (not judging...I swear) about women who have implants and are getting up there.  Do their grandkids notice their chests feel different? I'm just curious.  Because I have humongo breasts and I know all of my nieces and nephews fall asleep on their mounding squishy softness. They've even been known to try and play with them!  Even my little dogs vie for a place on my chest to lay down and sleep.  Just wondering?As far as accepting myself.  I'm working on it.  I'm the happiest I've ever been right now and physically in the worst shape ever.  I used to pride myself on taking such good care of my physique...now I hide from people I haven't seen since the weight gain.  I'm trying Stylemama...acceptance is hard.

Mama...you have a ways to go in the "older woman" category but I LOVE you for bringing this topic front and center! :)Acceptance is SUCH a "charged" word and although I don't think there is a secret-stew one can nibble to acquire it,I do think that it's available to us all in small doses.It IS a "fine line" as KT says above and @ 10 years ago,I battled with the "do I go gracefully into middle-age" or "do I fight this chit tooth and nail and WIN" syndrome and I for one can attest to the fact that IF you are able to keep yourself together a bit more than is "average",it DOES reflect on everything about you in a positive way! :)Change what you can or must in order to preserve your health and self-esteem (and no,it's not easy,and yes,it's okay to rely on "faking it" sometimes IMO) and THEN try to accept that which is inevitable or you'll waste all those gorgeous sun-filled days at the plastic surgeon's office rather than on digging in the sand with a much-loved child... "Bingo Wings" are indeed charming in certain circles and trust me,they have a tendency to pop up OVERNIGHT without even a whisper why they are there,LOLROF!!!Here's to us all and I for one would rather wave wildly and cheer out loud regardless of the "flap" I might cause than to offer a mere wimpy-prom queen wave of the hand for fear of wrecking a perfect image. 

great article! Personally I think perspective beats pretty much any materialistic desires we have or show needs to accomplish. this desire is caused by a drive that can be either cognitive based or physiological.. or mutual. I always get told that the foundation of any drive is for survival, and as of yet... I haven't been able to falsify that. But I truly think when you strip yourself of the physio needs, your cognition can fluctuate accordingly to your perspective, instead of following the crowd i think one would truly realise what is best for themselves; taking a step back and looking at the wider picture.Despite all that rambling, the best perspective for me is to look at the world as a unity instead of concentrating specifically on me, my problems, my needs. Theres so much more out there, a healthy perspective is to live with conscience and awareness.

with talk like this you'll put botox out of business.  personally it's what is on the inside that matters!When it comes the glass half full or half empty.... i am just so excited that there is something in the glass. 

I think everything is perspective.  I so agree with keeping only positive healthy people around me.
When you boil everything down what is inside is the only thing that matters.
Plus, it is the only thing you really cannot change.  People are who they are.  They can go on diets, head back to the gym and do other things to change themselves.  But, on the inside they are still the same person.

It is definitely about perspective. I really think it's about the people themselves and not how they look that really attracts them to other people. When I think of elderly people, I think of warm hearts and compassion, which grows over time.

I'm definitely still working on accepting the flaws.  I have a bad tendency to compare myself to others, when really I just need to focus on being the best I can for me.  I'm never going to be perfect, and I'm slowly starting to realize it really isn't a bad thing.

Sometimes its difficult to accept yourself but sometimes its easy it just a question of mood !!!i hope one day i can accept myself everyday ;)

What a great post - as usual, Stylemama. It is a thin line, but if we define ourselves entirely by the way we look, we've lost the plot. I know this because in my early 20's I'd stay in bed if I broke a nail. 40 was a great gift for me - maybe it's just that your energy wanes as you get older, but I honestly don't have the strength to worry about what i look like every second of the day. Would I jab, nip and tuck if I could - yes absolutely.  But within reason. I look at some of those surgery obsessed people on Dr Phil and Oprah, and I wonder - do they ever read a book - like literature? Do they ever stop to talk to a tramp on the side of the road? Do they ever do anything beyond obsess about how they look?My Grandmother always cared for her skin, and was always immaculately groomed. In her 80's she looked tops 65. There were some devilishly good genetics involved, and she had one op in her sixties just to lift the bottom part of her face. Nothing after that - no botox, no fillers, nothing.... Her hands and arms showed her age the most - they were wrinkly and soft, but I loved them with every freckle and age-spot and finger that was slightly thickened at the joints because of arthritis. She didn't have much in the way of wrinkles, but I cherished the laugh lines at the corners of her sparkling green eyes, and the soft skin on her cheeks.She was utterly beautiful in a way that no amount of youth can ever compete with. Yes she was a beautiful woman - at any and every age, but it was her wisdom, her compassion, her humor (God she could say the funniest things), her kindness towards everyone - from the humblest gardener, or tramp, to the way she treated her family.She would laugh when I said her hands were beautiful - but the amount of times those hands held a family member with love, soothed a fevered brow, took the arm of a complete stranger to bring them comfort, cooked amazing food, sewed lovely things, brought plants at the brink of death back to life - the ravages of age could never compete with  the joy and beauty her weathered hands brought into the world. I feel the tears pricking at my eyes just thinking of them.....

I love this article-I never see my Grandma as anything but the best Grandma out there.I'm working on living my best life.  I too say until I start my career, until I get married, until I lose 5 pounds, etc.  John Lennon said "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans".  Those until's or what ifs may never come and the only person getting cheated out of their life would be me.

That's a great post! I try to accept my flaws, but it's hard since I feel so much better when I look good. And I'm still in high school-age, so most of the people at my school are obsessed with how you look.

This is Great!! .. I know what you mean about over time you kind of just accepting things! .. When i was younger my acne would bother me so much and i would BEG my mom to let me stay home if i had a real bad break out..Now I see that its just me and who i am (although it does piss me off most of the time hehe) .. But no matter how you look you still have friends and family that loves you and that is really all that matters!!! <3 <3 <3

Well said! That is really what I should do, accept myself. I'm definitely working on it and sometimes I'm better at it and other times I couldn't be worse. But there are some things I have realised get better with age (for me at least). When I was younger and slimmer I used to think I was so big and fat, but now when I weigh much more than then I realise how silly I was and what a false picture I had of myself. And now, even if I'm bigger, I feel much more comfortable with my body. I guess it's just a matter of learning more about yourself and not having such a false self-image. There are still several things that I need to learn to live with and accept, but I feel that with age comes confidence and when I find that I will look more beautiful to both myself and others.

I LOVE reading your articles! They always bring a smile to my face! And I look forward to all the wrinkles I will get from smiling too often! Thanks for the reminder that we are fine 'as is' and shouldn't push ourselves to perfection, as no one is perfect! Awesome article!!!

Wow Dawn it's true you never look at your grandma when your small and think they need a nip or tuck-you just love them.I guess society just puts more pressure on everyone to look perfect these days-that said I,m one of those people who stand really close to the mirror checking for every flaw-I've always been like that since I was about 5-for example on my communion day it was really windy and my grandma told me keep you chin down or your veil will blow away-all I was thinking was "that will give me a double chin in the photos-dont even ask me why that was the first thought that popped in my head.I totally understand what you mean Jeanasina I was one of those pagent looking kids and I think all those comments when your young make you keep putting yourself under pressure to keep up that standard and it's kind of warped that said I dont trowel on the makeup as much as my teenage self.

Thanks stylemama for a nice little reality check!   It's so easy to get caught up in the "I will be happy when I [insert desire here].  It's a great reminder to enjoy life as it is today in this moment and to not live in the past or the present.  I remember my wonderful grandma for the warmth and kindness she embodied.  Yes, she was a beautiful woman.  But, I miss the wonderful person she was on the inside.  I could have cared less if she had flawless skin or no wrinkles. 

I struggle daily to accept myself, sad but true. But I am better with it now then when I was younger. I find every time I look in the mirror, saying something positive about myself really helps. So I think positively rather then thinking "oh my thighs" or "oh my freckles drive me insane" has really helped!

This post was really touching, and full of love to the "older" ladies...and to be honnest I am not afraid to be 30, 40, 50...I even envy some women in their 40's lol I could trade my youth for their beauty...

My mother certainly is one of the most beautiful women I know, with bad teeth and all. It's just this energy she has, this accepting of herself, security...I can't quite describe it. You sure are right that wrinkles can at times be something to be envied, rather than be scared about. True beauty is the beauty of the soul.

It's nice to know that I am not the only one who battles self-acceptance. Knowing I am not alone and there is people who shares the same as I.. :)

"her wonderfully squishy boobies"That line made me giggle!I think wrinkles make older people look more... real.  Natural.  If you're not wrinkling around the age that you're supposed to, you're either an alien or using some sort of cream or injection to avoid wrinkles that are going to appear anyways.Plus, laugh lines mean you are a happy person!

Great article- it made smile and I had to think of my grandmother and my grand grandmother. I miss them.

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