RANDOM MEG MUSINGS! MONDAYS WITH MEG!

I am really glad you posted this review regarding how women are treated if they are not a size 0 and how difficult it is to be of average body size, with curves. I work with many woman who have very distorted body images and it is hard to get out from under this cultural and self-imposed distortion, even for me! I was really glad you expressed my very sentiments on this subject.Janice

I loved this topic - needed to be addressed! I agree wholeheartedly about Jennifer Hewitt - sad about face on her part. All the commentary was so good and it’s just so wrong that society has made the focus concerning body image where people think the MOST important thing about a person is their size especially if you are a woman! If you are a normal sized woman which the majority of us are; trying to come any where near what television, magazines, and most sources of ‘how you are SUPPOSED to look’ or how little you should weigh strongly suggest is the only way to be if you are worth anything - well it just brings day after day of stress. It also can bring on depression and feelings of inadequacy! After all the drilling into our heads about being thin... well I’m 60 years old now and STILL I feel like I am less than desirable because I have heavy areas on my body. It’s been a source of stress for me my entire life - which is just so sad and a waste of frenzied focus. One day I was talking to my kids, they are now 34 and 32 and they reminded me how that for years and years they had to watch and listen to me come out to where ever they happened to be and grab my stomach and say...”Look at how fat I am!” Year after year I said this to them! When they told me that I thought...that is so sad and lame and I felt bad for them to have had to listen to that. But from the time I was little everybody focused on how good I looked or how slim I looked so that seemed to be ‘everything!’ If you looked good you were notable! Body image is such a HUGE factor and it really doesn’t matter about your size if you are healthy and more importantly, what you are all about on the inside! So many of the posts on this site nailed it with respect to how insane people’s comments are. One day it occurred to me that if I was hit by a car and lying in the street, I’d want a warm, kind, person to hold my hand and it wouldn’t matter what size they were, I’d just care about the warmth and kindness they would share and let me hold on to. But I’m sure there are some men out there - who if they were lying in the street would look up and hope the skinny chick in the stilettos and the mini-skirt will be the one to come over and hold their hand. The same thought..I wouldn’t want the jock with the attitude to hold my hand but he’d probably just walk by me anyway. After I got divorced I lost a lot of weight thru stress and got the thinnest I had ever been - 102 lbs. I got into the tiniest jeans of my life and I remember thinking in the dressing room - “I made it - I’m REALLY thin now!” So, I took my skinny tiny body over to my ex-husband’s house to pick up the kids (they were little then) and my ex-husband took one look at me and said “Jesus Jean! You look like Karen Carpenter! Are you anorexic!???” Later I saw photos of myself back then and I looked absolutely sick. But I thought I looked fantastic because I had achieved THIN! Insanity. I wish society would focus on important things like the fact that you are alive and able to feel and laugh and see and smell etc. When I was young I wasn’t’ very smart and I was a loner because my family didn’t have much money, I struggled in school but the only thing that I ever excelled in was looking good so I felt I had that one thing going for me. I wish now that all the people, including my family wouldn’t have made that my most important and best thing because all these years I have been driven on a daily basis to try to look good or look slim and it’s just so much work and has caused me years and years of stress because nobody can keep up with the pressure of looking good or looking slim! If I had a do-over, I’d tell all the people who surrounded me as I grew up to focus on the fact that I make people laugh and am fun to be around because that is really my best feature. I can lift people up when they are down and laughing makes my entire body feel good and it never matters when I am laughing if I am having looking good or carrying extra weight! The last bit of insanity I will share with you is, back in the 80’s when I was as usual trying to be ‘thin’ I had a doctor and the diet he prescribed to each of his patients who wanted to be thin...was...get ready for this...it ALWAYS worked. My doctor prescribed diet pills and EVERY day you’d take one pill and then you’d eat exactly the SAME thing - week after week - day after day ... for breakfast, one fried egg - for lunch - one 2”x2”square of pecan pie - and for dinner - one 2”x2” piece of steak. The End. Worked like a charm - I was one very thin mint back then and diet pills - well I loved them! This had to be without question the healthiest diet any doctor ever put a patient on! That was insanity! Luckily the diet pills of that time were banned eventually and my ‘healthy diet’ doctor went off into the sunset and I...I got bigger. To this day, I detest pecan pie. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Glad you're having fun! Yes...men don't "get" the stupid-fun that women have in their "clubs",LOL! Great post Meg...I am also weary of "size 4 being fat" and even the notion that size 4 is the norm! I think too many of the "celebs" take it all too seriously and end up simply sounding ridiculous.It's an epedemic and contagious I fear...have you seen that "Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader tryout" show? I happened to flip onto it and ONG,they were being BRUTAL to these healthy,young,and beautiful women measuring every flippin' inch of them everywhere...enough...it's really insulting.As a 5'10" woman who has been a size 10 (OMG...she's such a COW,LOLROF!) most of my adult life,I'm here to tell y'all that it's never stopped me from looking great,having great jobs,sleeping with hot men,and in general havign empathy but distain for the "celebs" who think they are living large by braggign that they haven't eaten anything solid in a week...Can you say boring? Thanks for the reality-check Meg!

I'm so glad someone brought this topic up. I have never felt comfortable in my own skin. The smallest I have ever been without looking sickly was a size 7. Size 7 sounds huge to some people. But with my bone structure, and muscle mass I look really fit and thin at size 7. Even then I thought I was fat. I'm also the kind of person who sees myself as weighing a lot more then I do. I'm the kind of woman that has to work out to look good. I eat pretty healthy for someone my age, and hardly ever eat out. I don't consume a lot of high fat snacks, I don't have a daily starbucks addiction, and I don't eat out for every other meal. I feel like I am way too big for how I eat. Keep in mind I haven't had a chance to really work out in the past couple of years. But I just graduated and will now be able to start a workout routine again. It is not necessarily about the size a woman is, but about how healthy she really is. There are different body types, different rates of metabolism, different genetic predispositions, and different reasons people gain or lose weight. I do hate how much the sickly thin woman is idolized though. Some of these models and actresses look almost like skeletons. But it is not just about celebrities, it is about real life too. I'm constantly surrounded by gorgeous women who are very thin. It is very disheartening. Part of me is disgusted, but part of me secretly wishes I could be that skinny and look good. But not everyone who is super thin has a eating disorder or problem. For instance I have a friend who I have known a few years. She is naturally very skinny. Everyone thought she had a eating disorder, including me. But after hanging out with her, staying at her house, and eating with her I realized she didn't. This girl is naturally like super model skinny. But she out eats me all the time. When we eat together, she eats a whole lot. She just has a very thin bones, and a very high metabolism. It has actually been a big problem for her. I thought women who had a hard time losing weight were the only ones who struggled, but there are also women out there struggling to gain weight. I think these ladies, including my friend, are dang lucky though. I would rather have a problem gaining weight then losing weight. But some people have been less then nice to my friend, and still swears she has a problem. This girl is now one of my best friends and I know none of these rumors are true. I thought women like me were the only ones who struggled, but now that I see that naturally thin women have problems too I have more sympathy. I think that whatever size you are you should try to be healthy. If you are underweight I think you should try to gain some weight, and if you are overweight you should try to lose some. For optimal health and longevity it is vital to be the healthiest "you" possible, whether that is a size 0 or a size 14, or any other size that is healthy for your body type and structure.

I get constant criticism about my body. I'm a model. You wont see me on the pages of Vogue, well not yet, but I have had a decent modeling career in the past few years. My career is currently about to really take off. I knew since I was a little girl that I was supposed to be a model. The constant struggle between thin and fat, almost feels like the struggle between good and evil. I have never felt good about my body, even when I was in great shape. I'm constantly stuck with a bad self image. I'm so torn. I feel like I should lose about 20 or 30 pounds to be really fit, healthy, and to be the best "me" I can be. But then I have some people telling me I have a almost perfect body now. My modeling agent even says that I have a really good body. And I have had many men and women tell me I have a really good body, but I don't think so. When I feel a little too fat and unhealthy, and people are telling me I look great, it causes a great sense of confusion. I think I do look good for the size and weight I am. I weigh about 190 and I'm anywhere from a size 10-14. People usually think I weigh about 140 though. I'm 5'9" and carry my weight very well. I'm mostly muscle, and have big hips and a big butt. So for my weight and size I look extremely good. But I still feel like I should lose a few more pounds again to be at my optimal weight, and so I'm going to strive for that. If people think I look great now, then I will really blow them away when I weigh 150 or 160 again!

people all have different bodies- and size 4 is not all same when you are 5 feet tall or 6 feet tall. media is obsessed with weight- too fat or too skinny, equally. i am a size 0 but i am also 5 feet tall, and i actually do look a bit curvy in form fitting outfits (just the way my bone structure is). i wish that magazines and people would just find a different obsession.....

I have so had it with the Celebrity Fat deal. What a wonderful message it sends to women and girls.  <sigh>

Wow, what really moving stories you all have shared... thank you. It's so hard to talk about something as personal as weight, even from behind the safety of a computer screen. I personally was fairly thin throughout high school and part of college. It was great! I ate whatever I wanted, but looked pretty darn good. I was even a sports model for awhile! I knew that in modelling I was a piece of meat, and that if you had the right look, you'd get hired; if you didn't, then you wouldn't get a call back. I didn't take it personally and didn't stress over it, because sports modeling is more about being strong, and I couldn't make myself any taller! Well life caught up with me and I don't look like I do back then, and I can't afford to eat like that anymore. I do need to get healthier, but these crazy celebrity obsessions over their "weight problems" starts to get my thinking a little skewed, and thinking I should be back like I was in high school. These celebrities talk crazy, have personal trainers, and basically need to shove it. Their sizes aren't realistic, and we shouldn't expect to look like them. They're photoshopped anyways! Real bodies are beautiful. I can't undo puberty, but I can be healthy for my size, and my frame.

This is a fantastic post.  I am so sick of the celebrity "fat" bikini shots.  This is ludicrous.  I don't think, however, it will end anytime in our future.  In fact I think it may get worse.  Next, we will hear that anorexia is actually healthy for you and that food was actually bad for you all this time.  Absurdity!Cheryl is a great size....I know many, many, many women who would trade places with her body any day of the week.I heard recently that Julliane Hough gained....wait for it..... a WHOPPING......5 lbs.  She even told fitness magazine how she lost the "weight"UGH!  I could go one and on about this craziness, but it will just get me red in the face.  ;-)

I am a beanpole, always have been and may always be. I love food, I eat... a lot! But I find it always refreshing when I see women with meat on their bones looking healthy, radiant and glowing! Women are supposed to have curves, and all of these fat shots in the tabloids lead to the uber skinny celebs and women. It saddens me when I hear of little kids/teens dieting and their parents saying things to them when they are younger. You just know these poor kids are going to have bad body images their whole life!

it just sends such a bad example for young girls who probably have self esteem issues anyway. when they see or buy those magazines, they will see that they need to be skinny because that's what the media loves to portray. and i totally agree with you about celebrities saying they love their curves and then a month later they appear on a magazine stating how they lost their weight. uggh they should just not say anything because it totally confuses people. 

I think it is completely rediculous the people they call fat anymore.  I can't believe that a person at a size 4 could even be called fat.  Warped minds, warped minds.