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Home » Blogs » meg's blog

Compliments

Fri, 02/01/2008 - 1:00am
  • Cocktail Hour

I'm not going to be so broad as to say "We all do this!" because I do believe there are some women out there that are able to graciously accept a compliment. I am not one of those women.I have tried so hard to restrain but then I always do it. I always undercut the compliment. It's like I have compliment phobia or some strange self-esteem issue. I like to think I'm together but then, if I am, why when someone pays me a compliment do I always feel the need to explain why I really wasn't worthy of it? I'm sure it's as annoying to hear as it is annoying to come up with the reasons "Oh, it was so not a big deal."

Meanwhile if someone had asked me to scale Everest for them and then thank me I'd say "It's really not that much of a hike. Don't worry about it."

Men compliments are the hardest. They really are, especially if you're naked and vulnerable. I remember the first time I had a guy say "you have the perfect body" I lectured him. What? Was he blind? My tummy is fat, then I demanded "No, really, look here. See this is cellulite" I then proceeded to point out everything that I felt could be improved. I pointed my faults all out at great length. For some strange reason he never told me I was "perfect" again. Bastard. Clearly this was all his fault. Maybe I shouldn't have drawn the diagram and used a pointer to show him where I felt I was sagging. Again, a simple "thank-you" could have covered it.

Women? Yeah, I'm no better there either. If a women or even for that matter, a close friend tells me she likes my a. shirt, b. shoes, c. anything I'm wearing, I tell her how I got it on clearance, or downtown or it's a knock-off or "Oh no, I paid $15 at a cheapie place on Melrose. It's nothing. They have tons of them. It was 90% off" Again, the thank-you would surmise.

Because this is a Meg Post, I am allowed to drop names. I drop so many names someone should follow me around with a broom. The Queen of England once told me not to drop names (joke).

When I was modelling you were suppose to wear clothes that showed off your figure for go-sees. It was NYC, it was flipping freezing. Instead of doing a short skirt and heels I went down to the Danskin store and bought myself a turtlenecked, one piece, black catsuit. That way I could be warm and wear a heavy coat over it and my stick legs would not turn pink.

This was 1995 and I loved Kate Moss. I was at The Bowery Bar and she and Naomi Campbell were sitting at a table next to me. I saw them both get up to go to the ladies room. I decided I would go into (stalk Kate Moss) the bathroom and tell Kate I loved her.

I got to the bathroom and waited for a stall. Naomi came out of a stall and Kate was still in hers. So I didn't look like a total stalker I had to go into the open stall Naomi just left. As I went in Naomi looked at me and said in her Brit accent "Love your outfit." I was stunned and had verbal diarrhea " Oh this? Oh no. It's just a dancesuit, just a catsuit I got at Danskin. I think it was on sale. Yeah, it was on sale, I paid $80 for it, it's not that great."

She looked horrified at me and just said "Next time, say "thank-you". Washed her hands and walked out.

So 13 years later and I still haven't quite learned how to digest a compliment. I really appreciate all of you ladies that write and say you love Megsmakeup. I love that you think the site is fun and informative and a bonding experience. I would like to say that it is more fun for me then it is for you. No, no, no it's not that hard. I learn as much as you do. I take so much away from the entire experience.

Instead, I would just like to say "THANK-YOU!"

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Reviews

faith24's picture
Tue, 06/09/2009 - 10:31am
faith24 says,

this may as well be written about me. every time i get a compliment i get the urge to somehow undermine it by saying- " this was on sale," "oh i think i gained some pounds," etc.... i have to work hard at accepting compliments too.

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MakeupByRere's picture
Fri, 07/10/2009 - 6:12pm
MakeupByRere says,

lol, i do the same thing with women! When I get compliments about wardrobe/accessories I'm like "giiiiiiiirl, I found this baby for $2 on sale at target". But I say it cause I am PROUD, so proud of my bargain shopping skills lol! I used to always refuse to accept comments from my man for years until I realized that he finally gave up and stopped giving them! Now I'm all offended when he doesn't tell me how hot I am, which is really not fair to him. So I agree, shut up and just say thank you!

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kedavis03's picture
Mon, 07/13/2009 - 9:41am
kedavis03 says,

I am the same way! I just babble on and on about how it really isn't anything special...then I usually end up making fun of myself in the process. But I'm working on it. Sorta.

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switchstar's picture
Sat, 07/25/2009 - 1:19am
switchstar says,

oh i know, I do that too! What is wrong with us women!!!

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Caramel Diva's picture
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 7:48pm
Caramel Diva says,

I think I can take  a compliment sometimes lolother times I wonder what it is that the person wants...depending on whose giving the compliment. 

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ls820's picture
Sun, 08/09/2009 - 12:27am
ls820 says,

likewise! whenever someone comments me on how nice my top/dress etc I always feel like I need to make them feel better (not that they need it, but i feel bad because they like something i have and they dn't have it?? i think lol). In turn I tell them how cheap it was, or that i found it in a flea market.. my mum dug it out of a hole..

My new Ebay Store: cossiepieMy blog: http://lazyscorner.blogspot.com/

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cranbrrykiss's picture
Fri, 08/14/2009 - 2:33pm
cranbrrykiss says,

oh wow, i do the same thing all the time! weird, it's hard to just say two simple words- "thank you." i always seem to reject the compliment, as you described..

xoxo

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Kimchi's picture
Sun, 08/16/2009 - 2:45am
Kimchi says,

Women are conditioned from birth to think this way.  It's such a shame the modern world perpetuates this type of thinking.  What is it with negative comments always sticking with us more than positive ones?

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elle_71125's picture
Fri, 08/21/2009 - 9:11am
elle_71125 says,

I find it hard to accept a compliment too. I am pretty sure my problem stems from my insecurities. I have spent quite some time practicing on just saying “thank you” when given a compliment. I give other people compliments all the time so you think I would have figured out how to accept them by now. Well, I’m a work in progress.

My scrapbook shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/elle71125

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emeliee.love's picture
Fri, 08/21/2009 - 3:43pm
emeliee.love says,

i guess its good i dont do this, :D i just smile real big and say thank you! when someone compliments me. :) i like getting compliments lol, i dont think THAT part is good though... hehe *blush*

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DVBourassa's picture
Sat, 08/22/2009 - 2:22pm
DVBourassa says,

I have that same instinct to downgrade a compliment but I've gotten so much better about just saying thank you. It's part of the think before I speak quest.

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xGL0SSY's picture
Thu, 09/17/2009 - 1:58pm
xGL0SSY says,

"thank u"

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babeelylien's picture
Tue, 09/22/2009 - 8:28pm
babeelylien says,

haha i know how it feels i feel i have to downgrade myself to be polite almost? lmao

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julieaesthetic's picture
Thu, 10/22/2009 - 6:35pm
julieaesthetic says,

I know how it is girl, uhggg. And thenpeople get mad!

Julie Dee <3

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Kenzielou15's picture
Tue, 10/27/2009 - 3:09pm
Kenzielou15 says,

I DO THE SAME THING! lol people look at me like oh I love that ------- whatever and im like its only 5$ haha

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bluedevilkitty's picture
Thu, 10/29/2009 - 7:28pm
bluedevilkitty says,

You got a compliment from Naomi Campbell?! That is awesome. I need to work on graciously accepting compliments as well.

♥ Lipgloss and Spandex: a blog for gals who look good and run fast

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