Speak out

I know we are a make-up site but we're also a women's site and sometimes being a women isn't always being able to feel beautiful. After I put up this post (meant to be a salon) I reieved 40 emails from our readers with the same type of story that I had below. Today I got 6 more long, personally written emails. So sometimes I think "God, did I really after go there" to myself and then when I read letters from 11 year olds to 57 year old ladies I think "yeah, I guess there is a reason I did".

Also, for good or bad I really could give a rats ass on whats appropriate. I think by pretending these things never happen we create a silence that turns to guilt.

It was so heartbreaking to read those letters. I was shocked (even though I should know better) at how many of our community deals with the same issues daily. If that's not a wake-up call to talk to your daughters I don't know what is.

The worst part of it all was reading letters from women who could not talk to thei family or fiends about their situations. They felt better just getting it off their hest and writing to me about it. So I try to keep Salons light and airy but sometimes something will bug me and once it does...

Below is the Post that I wrote that sparked so many of the same stories. When I look back at my life I sometimes see me at nine. I know that seems strange but for me it's not. You see, I was sexually abused at nine. I was abused by a math teacher, sometimes I am unable to add without a panic attack.

I know the numbers of sexual abuse is very high. We seem to find each other don't we? It's not anything we should feel bad about yet we carry the shame throughout our lives

My parents meant well, they told me "Megan, if you do not stay in for recess and get extra help and have your homework signed off then no privileges for you. I was desperate to please my parents, I stayed in for "extra help" I tried so hard to concentrate as my teacher would move the number line up my shirt and down my skirt. I was terrified but needed him to sign off on my extra help page.

My parents were very concerned as I would beg to not go to school and throw up everyday before the school bus came to get me. I would be so ill that they had a neurologist come see me because they were so afraid I had a brain tumor.

I stopped it all, I am so proud of myself for that. It is the best thing I've ever done in my life and I was 9.

I had an unfortunate "tutor" incident where my abuser tried to get sadistic with me. I grabbed the number line and hit him with it as hard as I could. Then I ran. I ran into the principal's office barely breathing and yelled "I need some help". I was the only one to come forward. Once I had come forward, 28 girls over 15 years decided to testify.

This was a verdict read in 1985. No one really thought about those cases then.

His verdict came in. He was not allowed to teach in Massachusetts at this time. My parents moved schools for me. We built a new house, we moved to a new town.

I was in my new school and in my "new safe town" apparently the abuser got a job selling software to my new, safe school.

I was all of 11 yrs. Old, When this creep decided to reintroduce himself to me in a hall way. I can still hear the screams from me until Greenie pulled me aside and got me out of there!

Emilie will remember, I was 12 years old and terrified this animal would get me. Em stayed with me until I could get safely back. She rubbed my back and told me "breathe, I'm here, you're fine"

That was a terrifying incident in my life and I still have the same support guide to help me through.