Speak out
I know we are a make-up site but we're also a women's site and sometimes being a women isn't always being able to feel beautiful. After I put up this post (meant to be a salon) I reieved 40 emails from our readers with the same type of story that I had below. Today I got 6 more long, personally written emails. So sometimes I think "God, did I really after go there" to myself and then when I read letters from 11 year olds to 57 year old ladies I think "yeah, I guess there is a reason I did".
Also, for good or bad I really could give a rats ass on whats appropriate. I think by pretending these things never happen we create a silence that turns to guilt.
It was so heartbreaking to read those letters. I was shocked (even though I should know better) at how many of our community deals with the same issues daily. If that's not a wake-up call to talk to your daughters I don't know what is.
The worst part of it all was reading letters from women who could not talk to thei family or fiends about their situations. They felt better just getting it off their hest and writing to me about it. So I try to keep Salons light and airy but sometimes something will bug me and once it does...
Below is the Post that I wrote that sparked so many of the same stories. When I look back at my life I sometimes see me at nine. I know that seems strange but for me it's not. You see, I was sexually abused at nine. I was abused by a math teacher, sometimes I am unable to add without a panic attack.
I know the numbers of sexual abuse is very high. We seem to find each other don't we? It's not anything we should feel bad about yet we carry the shame throughout our lives
My parents meant well, they told me "Megan, if you do not stay in for recess and get extra help and have your homework signed off then no privileges for you. I was desperate to please my parents, I stayed in for "extra help" I tried so hard to concentrate as my teacher would move the number line up my shirt and down my skirt. I was terrified but needed him to sign off on my extra help page.
My parents were very concerned as I would beg to not go to school and throw up everyday before the school bus came to get me. I would be so ill that they had a neurologist come see me because they were so afraid I had a brain tumor.
I stopped it all, I am so proud of myself for that. It is the best thing I've ever done in my life and I was 9.
I had an unfortunate "tutor" incident where my abuser tried to get sadistic with me. I grabbed the number line and hit him with it as hard as I could. Then I ran. I ran into the principal's office barely breathing and yelled "I need some help". I was the only one to come forward. Once I had come forward, 28 girls over 15 years decided to testify.
This was a verdict read in 1985. No one really thought about those cases then.
His verdict came in. He was not allowed to teach in Massachusetts at this time. My parents moved schools for me. We built a new house, we moved to a new town.
I was in my new school and in my "new safe town" apparently the abuser got a job selling software to my new, safe school.
I was all of 11 yrs. Old, When this creep decided to reintroduce himself to me in a hall way. I can still hear the screams from me until Greenie pulled me aside and got me out of there!
Emilie will remember, I was 12 years old and terrified this animal would get me. Em stayed with me until I could get safely back. She rubbed my back and told me "breathe, I'm here, you're fine"
That was a terrifying incident in my life and I still have the same support guide to help me through.
- meg's blog
- Login or register to post comments
-
Reviews
"Also, for good or bad I really could give a rats ass on whats appropriate. I think by pretending these things never happen we create a silence that turns to guilt." Very well stated! This type of thing is more common-for girls and boys- then we think. People just don't talk about it enough. I think it's great that you posted your story! Things like this are part of the first steps towards change! I hope more people respond to this because it's something worth discussing! Again and again! The more we know about this the more we can do to stop it from happening to others.
"Also, for good or bad I really could give a rats ass on whats appropriate. I think by pretending these things never happen we create a silence that turns to guilt."i concur with the statement wholeheartedly.
xoxo
I wish we lived in a world where people wern't so sick!My mum was physically & sexually abused by her biological father for years, while she was growing up. There was no one to help her because her own mum had left years before. My mum carried that with her through her whole life and only when that man died did my mum feel a little relief. It's a shame that these sick people have the power to hurt us. I wish there had been someone there for my mum and I am glad that is becoming more and more talked about as time goes on.
My scrapbook shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/elle71125
I think its great to share stories like these. The victim can become a victim twice when the keep everything bottled up. Its definitely healthy to talk about pain..it also helps you to see you are not alone.
What gets to me is what is wrong with discussing things about your life that may have been traumatizing because someone may get offended. Hey, like I say, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Noone has to read or respond to anything. They can just log off. I am more open to everything. I have the somewhat not give a damn attitude about things, depending. When something as unforgivable as this happens to someone, the best thing to do is speak to someone, a friend, a parent, a sounding board to help you get the hell you're going through out of your system. Good example, Oprah. She has openly spoken of her child abuse for many years on her show and I applaud her and anyone else who can do this because it wasn't your fault, it wasn't her fault. It was the scumbag that decided he could abuse you and think because you were so young you would remain silent. To hold anything horrible that happens in your life is more stressful, makes you very resentful, makes you even lash out because you're holding in your emotions. NOT HEALTHY. It's great to talk. I love this website because there are so many wonderful people you can speak to about anything on here. It's not just beauty products. It's about emotions, personal experiences, LIFE. It matters and not one person should feel ashamed.
Chanelisbest
Life stories make a impact where women can help and protect the rest of the women as a society!
lisa x
OMG it takes courage to tell a story like yours. I mean not that you should be embarrased/ashamed of what happened. It was NOT ur fault. Thanks for sharing. I'm new to the site but already feel like its a great family network thingy. Its also good that you have shared with us because people can learn from it. No one should have to put up with an abuse/abuser. At any age.